Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
