proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
