I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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