You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
