He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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