I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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