why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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