remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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