You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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