So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
