moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
