Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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