a queef is a wish your heart makes.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
two words...techno handjob
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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