Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
