how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
