therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
