4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
