it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize