remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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