I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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