At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
