Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
