I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
