mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize