So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
