What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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