Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
