you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
