I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i will never coherently bang her
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
