a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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