I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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