Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
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