So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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