Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
