k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
