Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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