I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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