she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
