So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
