I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
