uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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