I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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