Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
