WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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