After last night, I could never be a politician.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
