just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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