And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
