I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize