I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
