The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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