That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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