eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
