Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I think i got beer on your cat.
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