i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
