sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
