I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
