My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
