Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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