i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
