I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize