It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
