she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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