I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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