forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
