Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
