We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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