Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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