wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
