do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
