i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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