Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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