this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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