loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
