God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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